


Only Lance Would

by TheStoryVerse



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen, He's so much fun to write, I blame my roommate, I freaking love Lance, and takes advantage of the situation to be as obnoxious as possible, he's lucky Thace quietly intervened earlier, lance is captured, or he'd be dead, short and just here to lend a few giggles your way, this is all her fault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 02:40:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9528245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStoryVerse/pseuds/TheStoryVerse
Summary: Just what it says in the tags.  Just a fun little mini-fic.  Chicken soup for the heart and soul.  Lance has been captured and proceeds to make his captors lives miserable until he's rescued.  He's VERY lucky for Thace.





	

**Author's Note:**

> My roommate's been joking with me about a scenario like this for a while. And I finally just threw my hands up in the air and said FINE and wrote it. Have fun, laugh your heart out, and hopefully it brightens up your day. That's the goal!

“Now, tell us what you know about Voltron and the Castle of Lions and I promise to make your death swift and painless, a far better offer than you’d get from anyone else. Where is the Castle of Lions, what bases do you have, and who are your allies?”

The Galra’s eyes narrowed at Lance while his lips twisted upward in a chilling smile.

Lance responded by inhaling deeply, then beginning to sing at the top of his lungs.

THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS! IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS! SOME PEOPLE STARTED SINGING IT, NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS! AND THEY’LL CONTINUE SINGING IT FOREVER JUST BECAUSE, THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS! SOME PEO- *HURK*

Lance gasped as the galra soldiers hand squeezed around his throat. “Shut. Up.” He hissed through gritted teeth, face beaded with sweat and lips twisted in rage. Lance blinked away the black spots in front of his eyes as he grappled with the hand gripping his throat. As his vision cleared lightly his focus zeroed in on the Galra’s ears. They were practically flattened against his skull and seemed sufficiently ruffled, as if trying to block out some horrendous sound… Lance grinned wickedly.

“My Grandma, what sensitive ears you have!”

The Galran officer let out a low growl and threw Lance as far as he could against the back wall of the cell. He stormed out, calling to the rest of the sentries and the technician who’d been in the room with him as he went, fuming, “Make sure he doesn’t escape!”

The door slammed shut and Lance sat up slowly, rubbing his head. “RUDE!” He called out towards where the Officer had retreated. But the door had already shut and his “jailor” was long gone.

Lance turned and studied the sentries watching him and the Galran technician who seemed to be manning the computer systems outside his cell and thoroughly ignoring Lance. Lance grinned. He knew they couldn’t harm him too much. Some Lieutenant named.. Sace.. Thace?.. had said that Commander Something-or-other, had ordered that Lance remain relatively intact and healthy. For some weird reason. But he’d think about it another time. For now though, well, Lance was never going to get another opportunity like this! With that thought in mind, Lance took another deep breath, this time focusing his attention directly at the soldier at the computers.

99 BOTTLES OF POP ON THE WALL, 99 BOTTLES OF POP! YOU TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, 99 BOTTLES OF POP ON THE WALL!

Lance made it all the way to -138 Bottles of Pop on the Wall before his fellow Paladins blasted in with several roars from their lions and rescued him. Though it was nowhere near a challenge to hack him out of the cell what with the technician already down. Lance was pretty sure the technician had knocked himself out around 12 Bottles of Pop on the wall. Repeatedly banging your head into a desk could not be good for your health, no matter your species.

Bonus: Pidge didn’t stop cackling for days when she found out. Keith: “Only _you_ Lance, could knock out a galra sheerly by being so horrendously obnoxious.”

**Author's Note:**

> (To those of you reading my Blind Lance fanfic: I'm sorry I haven't updated yet! I'm dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety right now but I have NOT forgotten or abandoned it. I'm just deep breathing and trying to keep a handle on my life.)


End file.
